THIS WEEK: Plague Panic · Tiger reports live from Moscow, without a hat ● Katie Zacharia leaving White House role less than five days into job ● Mug knocked off news desk in protest; nobody hurt except the mug ● Who is Katie Zacharia, Trump’s ill-fated press secretary? ● Week in Politics: Trump's Russian diesel deal update; why the DOJ is suing California ● Tiger requests a radiator in every time zone ● Brazil sees record fall in Amazon deforestation as key election looms ● UK poll tracker: Labour lead over Reform widens as Burnham sees best result in two years ● Leeroy is reviewing the footage. Leeroy is asleep ● Anthropic quietly pitches its own AI safety bill to lawmakers, Politico reports ● Council blunder delays decision on major housing scheme in west London ● Sunbeam forecast: weak, apologetic ● Don’t Let a Crypto Inheritance Get Stuck on the Blockchain ● AWOL Vision Opens Pre-Orders for LuxVision: World's First Optical-Shift 4K 120Hz Projector ● Local kitten unionises against Mondays ● NVIDIA Denies RTX 5090 Discontinuation Rumors, Admits Supply Is Tight ● Mamdani announces 22 free pet food locations around NYC ● Red dot sighted in Hull; remains at large ● Sky Mobile's iPhone Duo pre-order deal costing just '£2 a day' ● Bin lid annexed in Dudley ● Scratching post review: 'firm but fair'
TIGER INVESTIGATES
Why do cats sleep so much?
Tiger sleeps about 16 hours a day. He says that's not enough. Here's his schedule.
People say I sleep a lot. People haven't seen my schedule.
6am: demand breakfast. 6.05am: nap. 9am: move to the sunny windowsill. 9.02am: nap. 1pm: follow the sunbeam to the landing. 1.03pm: nap. 4pm: begin asking about dinner. 5pm: dinner. 5.10pm: a well-earned nap.
3am: night training (see the zoomies investigation). 3.07am: nap.
As you can see, there's barely time to breathe.
LEEROY'S VERDICT
“Sleep is not laziness. It is preparation. For what, I'm not prepared to say.”
